Life, man

I have not blogged in nearly a year. Coincidentally, my last post was about being disenchanted with dating and it was on November 2... that was the week I started dating my now fiance, who I am marrying in 9 days, on November 2nd! Life is weird, man.

But yes, let me repeat, I GET MARRIED IN NINE DAYS!
I'm marrying a boy who is perfect. Actually, he's very much not perfect, but he is definitely perfect for me. He is shy and hilarious and so so kind. He is nerdy and comfortable and supportive. He is caring and hard working and completely ridiculous. I've never been so happy, rolled my eyes so much, cared so much about basketball, or loved someone this hard. He's nothing like what I expected to fall for and I wouldn't ask for anything different.
He loves Star Wars and Lord of the Rings maybe more than I do. He proposed to me with a Harry Potter board game, even though he's not a huge HP fan (don't worry, this will change). He knows my heart and he knows how to make me laugh. He's just one of those feel good people. You just get around him and feel comfortable.

I could go on forever about how great he is, but I will refrain. You're welcome.

What I will say is that timing is the weirdest thing. My life has been in limbo so many times in the last 5 years, so when it kind of went off the tracks and into limbo again last fall, I thought nothing of it. All of my friends in Salt Lake had gotten married and I had no one left to live with, so I moved in with my 95 year old great grandmother for an undetermined amount of time. This was strange, but also normal, because strange and uncertain living situations had been my normal for years. And that is when I met Alex.
Life is strange and unpredictable and when I met him, I thought nothing of it. I had met a lot of cute boys in a lot of wards and nothing ever came of them. When we started dating, I thought nothing of it. This had all happened before and it always ended, that's literally all I knew. I honestly think that subconsciously endings is all I expected from dating. So when we hit 6 months of dating and I realized this was the longest relationship I had ever had, I was SHOCKED. People don't date me for this long; they figure out I'm crazy and try to avoid me or I get bored and dump them, but never ever do we keep dating for 6 months.
And then we kept dating.
And then he said he wanted to marry me. And again I was SHOCKED. I always wanted to get married and find someone to spend forever with, but the fact that this real, living, breathing, awesome human boy was saying he wanted to spend forever with me... I just didn't know how to handle it.
For about 3 months he would say the same things: he wanted to marry me, but he didn't want to rush me or push me into something I wasn't ready for. He said he he was willing to wait for me as long as it took. WHAT. Who even is this amazing, patient boy. This boy who never pushed me, this boy who never made me do anything I didn't want or wasn't ready for, this boy who supports me in my career and in my dreams. I still don't know why it took me 3 months to decide that obviously this is the right boy for me.
But here we are. I'm grossly cheesy all the time and I hate it. I'm in love and I roll my eyes at us sometimes. We're getting married next week, and I could not be more excited. Here's a picture of our faces:

I dabble

I used to think that I obsessed over outrageous things more than anyone. But then once I dated a boy who would dive into hobbies and get COMPLETELY obsessed, and he made me realize that maybe I don't get fully invested and obsessed, I just dabble in a ton of different unique hobbies and interests.

But then I reconsidered a second time, and why the heck can't I do both?? I dabble in so many random interests, but I also get so passionately obsessed with each and everyone of them. When I decide I like something, I jump on and and truly LOVE it. I often move on and gather new, weird passions, but I never loose the many loves that I've had in the past.

Here is a list of some things that I have dabbled in and passionately love and will geek out about if you bring them up to me (this list is probably not comprehensive):

• Harry Potter
• watching and playing volleyball nonstop
• Avatar: The Last Airbender
• finding and sitting on good benches
• Lord of the Rings
• Doctor Who
• college football
• social theory of poverty and delinquency
• playing board games
• Star Wars
• Super Smash Brothers
• watching parades
• Weezer
• reading fantasy books
• hiking
• collecting Pez dispensers
• watching the playoffs of any sport
• Arthur
• lemonberry slush with nerds from Sonic
• twitter
• Beyoncé
• quoting Disney movies
• anything Olympic related
• So You Think You Can Dance
• chips and salsa
• dance parties

HE'S HOME.

So... this happened last Thursday:

 Yes, Ryan has returned from the motherland. He spent an honorable 2 years there serving the Lord and serving the people of Scotland and of Ireland. Check out what we believe and why he was willing to spend 2 whole years of his life teaching it. He grew so much and when you talk to him, you can see that growth and maturity, yet he's still just as ridiculous and silly as he has always been. Our family feels nearly complete with him being back, we just need Adam now. Ryan left this weird gaping hole in our family that could never quite be filled and I am so happy he has returned. He is a best friend that will always be stuck with me for eternity and I feel so blessed.
Also, he put his kilt on the minute he entered the house from the airport. Typical.

So much love.

So I'm a bit late with these pictures, but they need to be posted regardless, because I love these people and I love love. A large number of my best friends got married within 4 months of each other (Kaylee back in September, if you remember), and it has been so much fun!
Apparently I'm all about the celebrity couple names, because we did it with Shenna as well. Shawn and Jenna, those cheesy beyond belief lovebirds. They got married back at the end of December and it was beautiful. look at them:

And then if that much love and marriage wasn't enough, two weeks later, we had the marriage of these two crazy kids:

Joel and Andee (no, I never called them Jandee). These two are my best friends. I love them so much. Apparently I was having so much fun on their wedding day that I literally only took one picture, So the last two I stole from Andee's FB (Stephanie Sunderland Photography).

This is my adorable date that I got to look after outside the temple.

This was the most triumphant moment ever. I wanted that bouquet so badly.

A French Elder

So... I have many brothers, we all know this. And it looks like I'm making this a mission tradition, so look forward to more posts about my brothers in future years. And here is a shout out to my dear brother Adam.

He is currently on his 2 year mission for our church (click here  or here for more info) in the West Indies. What an adventure! I am so excited for Adam but I did not want him to leave back in July. He is the sweetest dear boy in the world and I love him with my whole heart. He always takes my side in arguments (much to Ryan's frustration) and we are equally crazy and loud together. He is always up for an adventure and he is super creative. He has got to be one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life, though I may say that about every one of my brothers. I'm just all around a big fan of him. And I know he is being an incredible missionary and touching so many lives!
Here's some photographic proof of the amazingness that is Adam (also the model that Adam thinks he is). I tried to cut down the number of pictures, but they were all too good:

He tried to tell us that there was a mustache there... False.

This is for his cardboard cutout at my wedding (because he's convinced I will wed while he's gone)

You can see where he gets his good looks and model tendencies.

The dos of them or missionarying now. I'm so proud.

Awkward family photo?

This was when we dropped him off. This is the adorable face of an incredibly nervous missionary who is about to embark on an adventure of a lifetime and has no idea what to expect.

And he's off. There he goes ladies and gents, there he goes. Love him.

Little Green House

Guys. I live in an adorable little green house. We have a washer and dryer, two fridges, a yard, and a porch. And we got a vacuum last month. Come now, this is amazing. What else can you ask for? Maybe a dish washer. Or air conditioning. But that's beside the point:
I love our house!!!
I've lived here for a 3 months now, and I still haven't gotten over the excitement of it. I love where I live. I love my roommates. I love sitting on the couch on my porch, with the twinkle lights on, and just chatting with people. Does life get better than this? I submit that it does not.

There is no moral to this story; I just wanted to share my excitement and love for it all. 

"Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others"

Quote by Virginia Woolf. Smart woman.

Have you ever felt like the whole world is moving along with their lives and they've just left you behind? That's kind of how I've been feeling recently. I've basically graduated, but I still don't really have a set plan for my future. Everyone around me has exciting things going on and great life changes happening now or right around the corner, and I'm just here like, " yeah, Provo's cool." But you know what I've realized? That it's all about perspective.

You know what else I've just realized, I only ever blog about my problems after I have gotten over them and have something profound that I learned and need to share. I suppose that's for the best, since I know I don't want to read about anyone's issues, and I'm sure you don't either.

Anyway, back to perspective. So I've always thought that I was this super friendly, outgoing human. I suppose I really am, but the last month or so has made me realize how much I am lacking. I just moved into a new house for the first time in 3 years and realized that I was surrounded by a whole group of people that I didn't know at all. I love meeting new people, but I've always done so with at least one other friend with me. It's nice to have someone be there to back you up when trying to strike up a conversation with strangers. But this new situation I am in has required me to just show up places and introduce myself and invite myself into groups of people. Guys, that can be really hard sometimes. I desperately want to spend time with fun people and make some good friends, and in order to do that I have to put myself out there and meet these people. So I think the biggest thing I have learned is to be comfortable with myself, by myself, even with no one to fall back on. And confident enough to go out and be ridiculous and make new friends. It's been rough, but it's also been wonderful! I've met some wonderful people!

Guess what I did the other week? I went river rafting in Moab with a group of about 50 people and I only kind of knew 4 of them. It was so fun! I met so many great people! It's things like this adventure that I have been so blessed with this summer. Up until about a month ago I wouldn't have gone on this trip unless I could convince one of my really good friends to go with me. But having decided to go out of my way to meet people, I just took this Moab opportunity and ran.

Moral of the story: life is constantly changing and just when I get comfortable with something, it stops or changes and I have to adjust to it. One of the best things I've learned recently is o be open to the new things. If I am willing to accept feeling awkward and entering new situations, then I am totally rewarded with some amazing experiences and great friends.

Current events

Typically current events are up to date news and important things happening around the world.
Not today.
This is all about my life.

These are my current events:

Getting crunk at Halie's birthday fiesta

*Note: no alcohol was involved in the making of this picture

Freaking out over an episode of  Doctor Who whilst wearing my Doctor Who t-shirt - when I should have been studying for finals, of course

Watching hands down THEE best volleyball game of my entire life. I'm serious, I cried.

Delivering a celebratory bust to a dear friend.

Solo ice skating with the BYU Pre-med Club

Right before I packed up my room... I lived there for 2 solid years, it will be missed.

Discovering treasures whilst packing

Graduation with these crazies aka my brosephs

THE WORLD IS OUR CAMPUS!!!!!!!!!!!

Last volleyball game as students. I miss them already.

Life is just a-movin!

Check this kid:

This is an Adam. He's awesome. And he's my broski. Love this guy. And check that stache. And guess what's happening today?! Yeah, he's getting his mission call.
I know exactly what you're thinking, "What the heck?! I thought your other brother just barely left on his mission." And to that I respond, yeah, TELL ME ABOUT IT. I'm freaking out!
Ryan has only been gone for 9 months and here Adam is just being an adult and graduating from high school in few months and getting ready to go on his mission! Blows my mind. I'm so proud of him; of both of them. I definitely have the best brothers in the entire universe.
Here's a great pic of all of us:

Recap of the birfday.

So I had a birthday last week, right? Well, let me tell you: that was one of the best birthdays I've had in a very long time. I think a lot of it probably had to do with the fact that it was a Friday. A lot of it was also because I have the best friends, family, and coworkers in the world.
My roommates brought me out of my room at midnight, as soon as it was my birthday and gave me gifts.

This is when I opened The Lord of The Rings Collectors Edition Pez Dispensers!!! You may not know my love for pez dispensers, but I definitely have an obsession there and this was the best edition to it ever. Favorite part? That the hobbits, Gimli, and Gollum are shorter than everything else. Bahahaha! THIS was a great gift from my roommate KayJoy.

Then my family came and took me to lunch that day. It was rockin. We went and Pita Pit it up and they are hilarious and wonderful. These are the two youngest of the brosephs - love them: 

Then my writing class was fun and they gave me treats, it was like I was in elementary again! :) And then one of my lovely friends took me out to dinner and even talked the waiter into bringing me a free eclair! And finally, that night was the beginning of the celebration of Halloween. I was Scary Spice and we fake party-hopped... I saw one of my VERY best friends of all time for the first time since he's been home from his mission! I was so so so happy! And then we went to multiple different dance parties that were lame and ended up just throwing our own in the living room. It was perfect. Seriously, I love birthdays. I love the extra attention that comes to you on your birthday and I love friends and gifts. SO GOOD! I'm 22!

California. Here we come.

I do cool things in my life. Like take awesome road trips to Northern California.

I seriously have the best friends in the world. And we had more fun in those 5 days than most people have in a full year. We left Tuesday night, right after work and got back to good old Provo Sunday night. 4 solid days in California.

The initial reason we went on this road trip was to go see the wedding of dear Cebre and Hiram Jacob. And the wedding was INCREDIBLE. On top of that, we made it a full on vacation. We celebrated our nation's independence by watching many firework shows through the beautiful fog in Santa Cruz. We spent an entire day in San Francisco. We bon fired at the beach. We made more memories and inside jokes than I can count.

I love those girls more than anything. It was the 4 of us girls: Kaylee, Kaylee, Jenna, and Jennie. Yeah, we confused everyone that we met. And is was great! I learned so much about myself while talking to these girls this week, and I think we all reached a new level of crazy. Upon calculating it, we spent more than 36 hours in the car over that 5 day span, so it's a good thing I like these girls. We kind of took up some usual spots in the car. I drove. Most of the time. Jenna directed me. We sometimes got lost, but overall, she directed me exceptionally well. And the Kaylee's sat in the back. They cuddled, they slept, and they kept us entertained. We had a pretty good system set up. I was a pretty big fan of it. I really do love driving.

We stayed at Terra and Cebre's house the first night. We were SO excited to see them!

Best part of all of San Francisco: Tandem biking across the Golden Gate Bridge! It seriously was the most fun thing I've done in my whole life. It took me and Kaylee a couple of blocks to get the hang of it. Let's get real, those first few blocks were completely terrifying and we screamed our heads off and were plenty of free entertainment to our fellow tourists. But by the end, we were pros. And once we got to the bridge, we ate PB&Js in the middle of the GGB. It was so cool!

We went to China Town. It was radtastic. And I bought awesome things: a glow-in-the-dark Buddah, a mustache ring, and a wooden sword. I realized that I find great joy in incredibly random objects.

We went to Carmel-by-the-Sea, this adorably quaint town full of little shops and cute things. With a beach.
We went to a giant bon fire on the beach. And we wore our matching tourist San Francisco sweatshirts. That beach was beautiful. And the surfers were exciting.

Then we weddinged it up on Saturday. This is us and the beautiful bride. It doesn't get much better than this. Cebre and Hiram are so lovely and happy and perfect for each other.

Summing up the trip: We maimed the schmeagle Jack.

Camping.

I like the summer in Provo. Life is much more laid back and enjoyable than during the school year. Also, people are just more fun. Well, maybe that's not true, but probably.

So.. we went camping. Last Friday.
Yeah, that was sweet.
We set up a tent and everything.
Not that we actually slept in the tent.
No, we ended up just sleeping in the bed of the truck, looking up at the stars slash the tree we were parked under.
But it was a blast. I adore camping excessively.
Being out in nature, exploring, adventuring, and just soaking it in is the best.
I went exploring along the stream and it was beautiful. I could explore nature all my life. I found the perfect thinking perch. And I might have fallen and sacrificed my leg in order to reach said thinking perch. My leg is still achey now, a few days later, but it was totally worth it. When you find that prefect spot for thinking, it absolutely can not be beat.
We also had smores.
You might ask: Some more what?
You're killing me Smalls!!
And there was lots of campfire fun and stories and chats and singing.
We played a lot of the song game.
We swung on swings.
We played some wongo-bongo.
We just enjoyed life.

Friends are awesome. Especially good friends, and I have a lot of those. And I love camping. I would go every weekend if I could. And surprise! I'm going again this weekend.
Like I said, I like the summer. It's weird to not be at home. This is my first summer not being at home ever in my life. Good thing I live close enough to go visit those crazy young chaps. But am glad that I'm here in Provo this summer.

They are wed.

Marriage is a topic of much conversation around me at this point in my life. Lots of things contribute to the excessiveness of this marriage-speak: my age, the fact that I'm not on a mission, the university I go to, having one of my best friends get married last week, having an engaged roommate. It all culminates to just too much sometimes.

Sharesa got married last Friday. She is one of my best friend from high school and one of my closest friends to have gotten married thus far. It's such a strange thing. But good. She was beautiful. And she's in love. And Ian adores her. I am a fan of all of these things. She deserves the best.
I love when I go to my friends weddings or I see them with their fiance or with their spouse and they are just happy. There is something about this inexpressible happiness that I love and everyone deserves to have it.

Also great: cute old houses. These can often come with marriage as well. My lovely roommate, Cebre, is getting married in a month and 2 days (not that we're counting) and I went and saw her new house yesterday. It is adorable. Seriously, there is something about cute, old houses that is just super romantic and fun and joyous. We were running and galavanting about her house exclaiming over it's beauty and it's homeyness. She has a parlor. A PARLOR. And a window seat and windows that swing open and must be latched closed. They have a fireplace, a red accent wall, a kitchen that doesn't need to be shared with anyone else. Maybe I've just been living with 5 other girls for too long, but having your own kitchen sounds like heaven. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway: I want her house. Or at least it's equivalent. SO cute. Honestly, it reminded me of the house I lived in in Ohio, maybe that's why I loved it so much. But mostly I think it's because of the romantic, old house feeling that is in every corner of that home.

So basically, lots of my friends are getting married and living in cute places and I am so happy! They are lovely human beings and I love that they are in love. Life is good. (This here song just came on. It was kind of eerie how perfectly timed that was.)

Parched.

I've been told my humor is dry.

I suppose next time I tell a joke, I will get you a drink.
Or maybe a slurpee.
Yeah, definitely a slurpee.

So I think what I've established here is that whenever I am funny, a slurpee is necessary. That means I am going to need to have a slurpee with me at all times, because I am hilarious.

Probably the funniest person I know.

Fact.

All-nighter? Why not!

Freshman year Kaylee and I decided to have an epic all-nighter. Here is a list of things we did that night:

Homework was the main reason we stayed up, and it was obviously the one thing we didn't get done. And here is the picture of the end of the night. Note: the clock says 6:15. Nice.

So this year we decided to keep with tradition and have our annual all-nighter. Annual in this instance meaning we did it 2 years ago, completely forgot about it last year, and then doing it again this year. So when I got home from SYTYCD the night of my birthday, the decision was made that that was the night for all-nighting.

We began our evening with a lovely 2am trip to Walmart to get supplies. While there, we ran into a BEAUTIFUL friend of ours. Love me some Captain America.

And then we stood in the check out line for an excessively long amount of time.

We then made some cookies.

And did some homework while we watched Swan Princess.

I know what you're thinking, "How in the world could you do homework during your all-nighter? You didn't do homework last time." And my answer to this inquiry is that we are much more mature nowadays, so naturally we were responsible and studious while depriving our selves of sleep.

We then delivered cookies at 4 in the morning.

You may not be able to tell what this is.. ok, let's get real, obviously no one except Kaylee and I know what is going on in this picture. Just know that I was falling out of the car and it was freezing and late and hilarious.

We stayed up all night. Not one wink of sleep. And the next morning, we both went to work at 8 and then a full day of classes. It was worth every ounce of being tired.

It was a lovely night. And I love Kaylee. We have fun and bond. Shweeeet.