THOUGHTS ON REPRESENTATION

I had a discussion once upon a time about gender and racial representation in our culture. The discussion centered specifically around the amount of Asian-American representation at the Olympics this year, but I think it applies to pretty much everything else as well. I was talking about how important it was for children to see themselves represented in the media that they view. The guy disagreeing with me (a white male) stated that this made absolutely no sense because he couldn't name a single white Olympian besides Shawn White and his heroes growing up were Black and Latino baseball players. We never came to any type of agreement, as those types of discussions typically go, but it had me thinking for months afterward. Then in one of my classes today, we had a discussion about representation and it brought all of these thoughts screaming back into my head (this is my white privileged that I don't have to be faced with the issue of representation on a daily basis).

I feel SO empowered when I see strong, successful women in movies, TV, and real life. It inspires me and encourages me to continue to work toward my goals, because if they can do, then maybe I can too. This does not take away from any amount of inspiration that I may receive from seeing a male succeed as well. I have been plenty inspired in my life by the words and deeds of white males. But it feels different when I see the woman out there doing her thing and succeeding. I can see myself in her and I know how freaking hard she had to work to get where she is. It's just a whole new level of empowerment for me.

In my mind, the issue of representation is focused on children. As a strong, independent adult, I recognize what I'm capable of and how much potential is within me. I think children are much more impressionable. We can tell them how amazing they are all day and they might even believe us, but children are observers. And when a child observes someone that looks like them out there saving the world, or making new discoveries, or being president, then they can so much more easily picture themselves doing the same thing. Sure, a little girl can imagine being president of the United States, but imagine how much MORE she would believe that was possible if she SAW a woman actually being president of the United States.

Now I recognize that I do not have the experience of being a racial minority, and as such, I am in no place to be lecturing about racial representation. But I do believe that this same theory of representation applies. Consistently seeing heroes and winners and successful people of one's own race is inspiring, even if it is subconscious. Every child deserves to see someone who looks like them in a successful role. Seeing such makes it so much easier to picture themselves being successful like that as well. Every child deserves that feeling of empowerment that comes from seeing someone of their own race out there doing their thing and being successful at it!

Sure, there is the exception of the little white boy who's major heroes are Black and Latino baseball players. But I think it's different for that little boy, because he has OPTIONS. He has tons of examples of successful white men in his life, and he has the privileged of being influenced by both those examples AND the examples of these baseball players of other races. This is awesome, and I wish every child had that opportunity! But many children see tons and tons of successful white men, and maybe one or two successful people that look like them. This isn't fair. These children deserve to see people that look like them and be able to inspired and empowered to be themselves! We need to encourage equal representation in the media, and in sports, and in the heads of multi-million dollar corporations, and everywhere!

Fun, Delinquent Youths!

I work with juvenile delinquents. I work in a lock-up facility with teenage boys who have been arrested for crimes and sentenced to be locked up for a minimum of 6 months, usually more. Some of these boys have committed violent crimes. Some of them have stolen property worth thousands of dollars. Some of them have countless drug charges. Some of them have gang-related crimes. These boys are hardened. They are often very involved in gangs. They have been arrested many times. They've been through every other program the state has to offer and they have failed out or ran away. My facility is their last stop, the most intense facility, there is nowhere else for them to go - unless they get charged as an adult. We take the worst of the worst of the juveniles in Utah. This is what these kids look like on paper: delinquent, unwilling to change, non-compliant, scary, bad.

And yet, I have worked with some of the brightest, funniest, most personable, brilliant adolescents in this job. These kids, while still little punks, are incredible. There is so much light in their eyes and possibility in their future.

One resident that I have worked with is hands-down the smartest teenager I have ever met. I will not be surprised at all if one day he ends up inventing something brilliant and life-changing.

One kid I know has the most incredible leadership skills and can convince and motivate anyone to do anything.

Most of those guys want to be rappers, but there is this one kid that has an incredible musical talent and I can definitely see him getting famous from it.

Another resident has the most incredible comedic timing I have ever seen. Never have I ever laughed so hard in my life.

I could go on and on. These kids are awesome! They make me mad and they often make terrible choices, but they are also have such good hearts and want to succeed in their lives. I have seen more positive change and progress in this individuals than I have ever seen in any other human beings in my life. They learn and grow at an incredible rate. It is the most magical thing to see the lights go on in these kid's minds and see them realize that they can do something different in their lives than what they've done in the past.

I guess all I'm saying is that people can change! "Bad people" are not always bad people! There is good in everyone, they just have to find it! Don't disregard people because of their past mistakes!

Disenchanted Dating

I've seen too many people become disenchanted with dating and become pessimistic about it. This breaks my little, ever-loving heart.

I am 26 years old and single. In a Mormon society that puts such an emphasis on marriage, this is a weird thing. The grand majority of my friends are married; most were married by the time they were 23 or 24, and honestly I think my friend group got married later than the average age for Mormons. Lots of my friends have kids or are trying to have kids. What I'm trying to get at is that I am an oddity being 26, single, and Mormon.

My two best friends got married within 2 weeks of each other last year. My younger brother got married a month before that, and another friend got married a month or two after. Within a manner of 4 months, I was a bridesmaid 4 times. This was beautiful and amazing and I was so so happy for them all, don't get me wrong. But that was also a very crappy, hard time.

So my point is: I GET IT. I understand the frustration with dating and the feelings of inadequacy and heart break. I totally get the overwhelming (and usually unintentional) pressure to GET MARRIED NOW that sometimes comes from friends, church leaders, relatives, or even myself. I understand how it feels when I talk to my best friends and realize that I can't relate to the phase of life that they are experiencing. It sucks and I get it.

But what I don't get is the negativity. Now I'm not here to be Miss Unrealistic and Peppy and tell you that you need to be happy and positive all the time, even when things suck. That's not realistic and I would be a hypocrite if I told you I always enjoyed dating. I have had moments when I am so frustrated and confused and all I can do is shout to the sky or write in my journal or cry on the phone to my mom and say, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?"

I have been there more times than I would like to admit, but it does not have to be that way!

Despite all of the nonsense and frustration that comes along with dating, I full-heartedly believe that dating should be a wonderful thing and no one should ever give up on it! Dating doesn't need to be stressful. It's just a time to get to know new people and see if there are any of them that you want to continue getting to know. Honestly, it is that simple.

I've seen too many friends become so pessimistic about anything and everything to do with dating. They don't feel like they're living up to the expectations being placed on them. They feel constantly judged. They get frustrated and discouraged when they get rejected or when they feel like they've tried and failed over and over. They just assume that everyone else is out on dates every weekend and they're the only ones sitting home alone.

I think the problem stems from making dating the main focus of ones life. When that is the case and when that part of their life is not particularly successful, then they feel down about everything. Yes, dating is very important and I think marriage is a goal that everyone should have, however, it does not need to be the ONLY goal. There are so many other things in life that people can focus on and improve and succeed in. I wish that people didn't make dating the only way that they gauge their personal success.

I can't really work out how put my feelings on this matter into words, but what I want to convey is that there is so much in life to love and be happy about. If you focus on the stupidity of any situation, you're going to hate it and become bitter, but if you focus on the positive moments, you are going to love it. This applies to everything in life, including dating. I have to constantly put myself in check about this because sometimes that is so much easier said than done.

Change your hair, change your life

Sometimes, when you need to make big, difficult changes in your life, you just have to start with your hair color and then work your way up from there.

I wrote this in my journal about a year and a half ago and this is a sentence that I will stand by until I die (or dye... get it, because hair dye..). I did this very thing back in December of 2014. I was unhappy in my life and I knew I needed to quit my job and move and change pretty much everything and I was intimidated by it, so I was procrastinating making the changes. So I dyed my hair for the first time in my life. It's something so simple and silly, but I did it and that seemed to be the catalyst for change. Within a month, I had quit my job and moved out of Provo and made the changes that I knew that I needed to and that I knew would make me happier.

Now I'm not saying that you have to dye your hair when you feel like something needs to change in your life, but what I am saying is that if you are not happy, you have the power to change that. Change one small thing and see how you feel. It's empowering and it will help you work up towards big changes that you may need to make.

a bit on mental illness

I'm pretty sure this is about to be a soapbox post. Sorry in advance. But not that sorry.

For nearly a year and a half, I worked at a treatment center for teenage girls with emotional, mental, and behavioral issues. I interacted with so many amazing yet troubled girls who just wanted to be understood and loved. I learned so much about mental illness, more than I ever did while reading about it in textbooks in college classes.

Today I was reflecting on this experience and thinking about how mental illness is still so misunderstood in our society. While I personally have not suffered from a mental illness, I have worked very closely and had some very hard conversations with some people who do struggle with mental illnesses. While reflecting, I ended up thinking about one girl specifically that I have worked with. She has severe depression and borderline personality disorder. I started thinking about all the conversations we had where she would be fighting with her own mind, struggling to regain control. I wanted to try to put into words what I observed in these conversations with her, as well as conversations I had with other girls with similar issues. I do not claim to know what it is like to have either of these disorders, but I wanted to put into words what I have observed in conversations with clients and what I perceive is going through their mind on a daily basis.

This is my attempt to both understand and explain what may be going through the mind of a person with depression and borderline personality disorder. As with any mental illness, there are good days and there are bad days, but this pattern of thinking in circles and unconnected thoughts seems to be something that happens to a lot of the girls I've worked with. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to try to control those thoughts and that is why I am in this line of work - I want to do everything in my power to help people figure out how to help themselves.

It is so difficult to live with a mental illness, and I have so much love and compassion for every person I have worked with that struggles with one. I just want all people to understand a little bit more, so they can be a little bit more accepting. Mental illness is a real issue that so many people struggle with, live with, and succeed with. I think it is so important for everyone to look at themselves and see if they can be more understanding and compassionate in regards to mental illness.

Color Code.

Have you heard of the color code personality test? More accurately the Hartman Personality Profile? It's a brilliant little 45 question test created by Dr. Taylor Hartman in his book "The Color Code" which divides personalities into 4 different colors: red, blue, white, and yellow. And I LOVE it.

The social scientist in me can't get enough of learning about different personality theories. I love reading different explanations about what motivates people and why they do the things they do. And I think that the color code is a pretty accurate explanation. My friends and family can attest to the fact that I can not stop talking about it and making everyone I know take the test. I just want to know what makes them tick!

So, let's chat about personalities!

Reds are motivated by power.
Blues are motivated by compassion and relationships.
Whites are motivated by peace.
Yellows are motivated by fun.

My results are: 1 red, 8 blue, 23 white, 13 yellow

So I am very strongly a White-Yellow personality. And after having read through the book, The Color Code, I AM ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED THAT THIS IS ACCURATE. Seriously, the more I read the book, the more I found myself nodding my head and telling my mom or my roommates, "oh my heck! Listen to this! I do this!" It's always cool when you can put your personality into words.

I am such a White personality. I have had people get so frustrated with me because I couldn't make a decision. Truth is that I really am just always willing to do whatever everyone around me wants to do. I am perfectly content to just sit around and do nothing, or go out and party and be crazy, or anything in between. I just enjoy being around people and doing whatever it is that they enjoy. This has sometimes lead to some difficult moments in my life when I've realized that I don't know what I personally like to do. In high school and even a bit in college, I just kind of absorbed the personalities and interests of those that I spent my time with. I always had fun and enjoyed myself, but one of the biggest things I had to learn in my college years was who I really am and what I really like.
This is honestly one of my favorite and simultaneously least favorite things about myself. Because I have such a White personality, I can get along with pretty much anyone and have fun doing pretty much anything, which I think is awesome. But at the same time, I am constantly having to check myself and make sure I'm being true to who I really am and sometimes I even have to force myself to have an opinion about things or make a decision and thats really hard for me.

I love people. I love being around people and I kind of lose my mind and get antsy and depressed when I am by myself for too long. This makes so much sense in relation to BOTH the White and the Yellow parts of my personality. The Yellow portion of me craves having fun and being social. And this is really helpful to the White portion of me because on my own I can get kind of boring and can't ever think of anything to do and I need people around to motivate me to do things and be social. As soon as I am around people, even a small group of people, I immediately feed off their energy and become really fun and social, which is my favorite version of me.

Okay, I honestly, I could go on forever analyzing my own and other's personalities, but I will stop there. All I have to say is:
Seriously, take the test. Read the book. And let me know what your results are!

Letter to my 16 year old self

About a year ago I sat down and wrote this letter to my 16 year old self. I had been graduated from college for about 6 months at that point, and I had taken the time to reflect back on how much I had learn and grown since I was 16. So, I wrote a letter, and I just rediscovered it today and I thought it deserved a share.

I'm back and I know things

I have not written on this blog in quite a long time. I just honestly didn't have anything to say. I feel like I go through spurts of having all these opinions and thoughts and insights, and having a great desire to share them. And then I have times where it seems pointless. But recently I've felt the desire to get my words on a page again because sometimes that is the best way to sort out my thoughts and my feelings. I think this is why I initially started blogging. Also because I think I'm hilarious.

Well, I'm back. Who knows how long it will be for; it could be forever or maybe just this one post, I don't even know yet.

But here are some things I do know:

I do know that I have a lot of thoughts running through my head all the time.
I do know that life is so weird and doesn't turn out how you expected.
I do know that being unemployed is a party for about a week and then it is the worst.
I do know that I have become obsessed with twitter in the last 6 months.
I do know that I want to get on a plane right now and I don't care where it goes, I just want to explore.
I do know that I FINALLY moved out of Provo 2 months ago.
I also know that I'm living in my parents basement and it's so weird, good but weird.
I do know that youtube can teach you to crochet.
I do know that it's possible for netflix to be a good friend.
I do know that my brother comes home from his mission in 4 months.
I do know that I have the best friends in the world.
And I do know that it is possible to be happy no matter what is going on in your life.

What's in a name?

Maybe it's just in my own naive mind that this is the case, but I feel like people always sound more exciting and adventurous if their name sounds foreign. In my job at the library, I recently came across a book entitled "Travels of Reverend Olafur Egilsson." I don't know about you, but I want to read it because I feel like Olafur Eglisson probably has some excellent stories and has had many travels. But if there was a book called "Travels of Anne Smith" or "Exploits of Bob Johnson" or "Adventures of Jennie Lever," I don't know how many people would pick it up and think that it sounded all too riveting.

I suppose it also helps that Olafur Eglisson has a title. I would probably sound cooler if I had a title like Reverend or Duke or Governor.

But in all reality, I really do think that having a foreign name makes one sound more exciting. It makes me wonder if Adventure of Jennie actually sounds like the title of a fascinating piece of literature to people that don't speak English. In a place where Jennifer is not an outrageously common name, maybe Jennie sounds exotic and exciting. I like the thought of that.

Why I love benches.

I went on a lovely walk down the Provo River Trail the other day and in typical fashion, I saw a bench that I fell in love with. I have so much love for sitting on benches and for the first time ever I have appropriately verbalized my reasons for that love.

Anywhere I go, I search out well placed benches to sit upon. I don't consciously look for them, but my focus is always drawn to benches when they are present. A well-placed bench brings me back to everything good about the world and about nature.

There are two types of well placed benches: those that best observe nature and those that best observe people. And my favorite benches always combine these two elements. A bench lets you sit and take a break from the world. You sit down and the rest of the world continues to move on around you. A bench gives you the opportunity to become a momentary observer of life, instead of a participant.

I love humans. I know I've said this a lot, but I am just so fascinated by people and the way that they are. I'm fascinated by different socioeconomic levels and how that effects people in every facet of their lives. I'm fascinated by the way that people interact with each other. I'm fascinated by the mere fact that every single human that I encounter has a whole lifetime worth of back story that creates the unique individual that I am now facing. I just plain love humans.

When watching people in a park, it is not out of the ordinary to sit on a bench, so people continue on their way without paying you much notice. This is exactly how I like it, because people act normal when their surroundings feel normal and people are most fascinating when they're not acting at all, they are just being. I could sit on a bench, watching people for hours and just trying to guess their stories and figure out how they got to this moment in their lives.

When there is a bench in the woods or along a trail or in any other variety of natural surroundings, then sitting on this bench always helps me feel at peace. Even just smack in the middle of a quiet forest, I can still take a moment to watch life happen all around me. Nature is amazing and the world is beautiful. Sitting on a bench in nature allows me to quietly ponder life and to appreciate how wonderful it is.

You know what else benches are good for? Having deep meaningful conversations. As I've already said, the environment around benches creates a peaceful feeling, and it is this feeling that creates the perfect situation for talking about the hard things in life. I have had many lovely, insightful conversations while sitting on benches in my lifetime.

Next time you see a bench at the park, just take a seat for a moment.  Soak in the world. Enjoy the nature, enjoy the people. Reach outside yourself and find something beautiful in the world around you. This is the reason I will forever be finding new benches to fall in love with.

And then suddenly 2013 was gone.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Why yes, I did just quote Ferris Bueller.

Despite the palm licking, borrowing Ferrari's, jumping atop a float and convincing people to let him lip-sync Twist and Shout, and making the whole community think he is dying, Ferris Bueller is actually a pretty smart guy and has a handle on this whole "life" thing. These last 2 months, I have been so caught up in the minute details of my busy schedule and the little things I have to get done each day, and I have forgotten to stop and look around. I've missed the importance of LIFE and the small details that make it exciting and joyous. Let's take a moment to look at another important, and probably more reliable, quote:

"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life."
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf - find the brilliant talk HERE.

I do this, folks. I unintentionally let my busyness define me and I let it become the focus of my life and my conversation. I rattle off lists of everything I have to do and I sometimes even try to one-up others when they say they are busy. This is not okay! Who is to say that my busy life is any more or less busy than yours? And what makes my busyness something to boast about? Instead of letting it weigh down on me and be the focus of my life, I need to look at the bigger picture and understand WHY I am doing everything I am doing. Being busy is fine, as long as that busyness is for the purpose of helping others or bettering myself or other various positive goals - not just to be busy and impress others or make them feel bad for me.

Okay, Hi. I'm being incredibly reflective and that's boring, you don't need to hear the intricate quirks of my thoughts. But in sum: 2013 was a beautiful year. I learned an unfathomable amount about myself and about the world and about the truth of the Gospel. Some points have been struggles and I've felt kind of lost, but this year I realized that I am 100% capable of just moving on. I've grasped my own independence and gained confidence in moving forward in life.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Calm down. Breathe. Appreciate the beauty around you, even if it's just the wall of your bedroom - there is beauty in that too. Don't miss life.

I'm Jennie and I'm the intern.

I am doing an internship this summer. It is seriously the greatest thing I could have decided to do with my summer.
I am working with the DCFS (Division of Child and Family Services) Drug Court team. I get to meet so many humans who are trying to make their life better. And the caseworkers who honestly truly care about them and want them to get better so they can take care of their children.

Yes, it is hard. There are days that I come home and I am so sad and just can't believe some people. I don't think life is fair to a lot of children in the world. All kids deserve happy, safe, functioning homes with people who love them, and there are too many kids that don't have that opportunity and don't even know what it's like. I see parents doing drugs and neglecting their children. It's all quite sad.
But you know what else I've seen? Parents working harder than they've ever worked in their lives to get clean so they can get their gets back. I've seen goals reached successfully. I've seen children who are finally  in safe environments and are being cared for.

I love working with people. I have realized even more strongly that I want to be a social worker. I want to help people when they are at their lowest and give them the encouragement and inspiration that they need to take steps forward. I want to care for people because they are human beings and they deserve the best in the world. I want to be able to look past a person's flaws and see them for who they can become and help them to get there. I just really think that everyone deserves multiple chances to succeed and access to all the resources possible to help them do so.
That's what an internship is supposed to be, isn't it? Giving me direction in my life and showing me what I do and do not want to do with my career. I'm a big fan.

Here at the end of all things

So once upon a time yesterday, I realized that in one week I will be 100% done with classes for my undergraduate degree. This made me so sad. I complain about school and homework and papers and finals all the time, but you know what? I love it all. I have been so blessed to be able to go to college and further my education and expand my horizons. I love learning and seeing new perspectives on all sorts of situations and contexts. I'm not necessarily a pro at being a student, but I'm very comfortable with it. Here at the end of all things, I realize how much I took for granted in my education. There are so many things that I was taught, but I never learned. There were so many people that could teach me so much, but I didn't appreciate their stories or their knowledge. Now that I'm more mature (don't laugh at that), I wish I could go back and do school all over again and learn all the things!
But here it is... I only have two days of class left, and I really just don't know how to feel about that. You know that feeling when you were in the middle of a sentence but then get cut off and distracted and you feel like something is unfinished, and you feel that way until you finally finish your thought? That's kind of how I feel about my education. I feel like I'm stopping before it's really done. I have so much left to learn and so many people still to meet and learn from.
Now I realize that finishing school is not the end of my learning, but do you realize how much harder it is to learn when I don't have deadlines and scheduled times for people to stand up in front of me and share their knowledge? This kind of life long learning requires motivation and dedication and out-of-my-way effort. Completely worth it, but still exhausting.
So there it is. This time next week I will have taken my last final. I will have gone to my last review and sat in my last two hour lecture. I don't mean to be nostalgic, but if you haven't figured out already, I'm the most nostalgic person I know. I remember my first day of class freshman year.. Strangely enough it was Intro to Sociology, which is funny because that was 2 years before I EVER decided to declare sociology as my major. Funny how things work out like that. Sociology has shaped my personal theology and the way in which I approach the world. I think about that first day of college and I see how much I've grown and changed, and I realize that while I may not have taken advantage of every opportunity here at school, I most definitely have learned more than I ever thought was possible. How is it that the more I learn, the more I realize I still have left to learn?

Has spring arrived?!

Happy April!

This is such a good month. Seriously. In the past, I've never been a big fan of spring. Not that I don't like it, I just preferred the other seasons... but I am definitely in love with this spring!
It just is beautiful and it rained the other day and it is getting warmer and people are just happier -- well most people... maybe not college students because they have final projects and final tests.

Guess what happens this month? I am walking at graduation! Not that I'm actually graduating until August; but I definitely am going through the motions and feigning graduation this month. I am so excited! After this semester, I have 1 class to take during spring term and then an internship that goes through August. So pretty much, past June, I am DONE with my undergraduate career. Honeyboosaywhat?!?! Yeah, I can't even believe that.

Spring brings new life, and I've found that this year it also brought new perspective on life. From here on out, I'm going to be the most happy, fun, positive person you've ever met. It is going to be sickening how much I love life. And you know what else? Christ lives! I'm serious. That is one thing that I know for absolute certain.

That is all.

People watching

I love people watching. I always have.
Being a sociology major has enhanced this even more.

In high school I always loved just hopping on the train, putting in my headphones, and heading down town - I would just watch all of the fascinating people on the train and marvel about how cool humans are. I love looking at a person and trying to decide what their story is. Every person has a story and they are all so unique. Making up background stories for people and creating an idea in my head about how they ended up in that exact spot at that exact moment in their life - it seriously doesn't get much better than that.

And now that I'm a crazy social scientist, I think it's become even worse.

Not only do I love to observe people and try to figure out there lives, but now I try to figure out how they fit into a specific generalizable population. It's so interesting to see what aspects of a person fit perfectly with the description of a population and what aspects are completely different, because no one fits 100% into a defined social group, which is why social policy and research is so incredibly difficult. -- educational rant. my bad.

This kind of reminds me of the movie He's Just Not That Into You. Ever seen it? It's not one of my faves, but it was decently good. Anyway, in the movie it talks about how there are rules for dating (and for life) that are very generalizable and people try to say that they are the exception, but they are not the exception. But at some point in life, everyone is the exception. Their life doesn't fit perfectly into a little mold of how things are supposed work, and that's what makes life exciting. If everything always worked exactly like we expect it to, then life would be boring and there would be zero problems because life is predictable.
But alas... life is never predictable and people are all a little bit crazy and that is okay. This is why I study people and social groups. This is why I want to work with unstable populations and try to help them establish at least a sense of stability. This is why I am fascinated by people and will never stop people watching.

Speaking of fascinating: It has come to my attention that I am attracted to men that I find fascinating. When there is a person that I am interested in, it seems that I always end up describing him as fascinating. I love getting to know people that have different views of the world and have had different experiences and up-bringings because they widen my paradigm and give me a new way to look at the world. So... if you ever hear me say that I find someone fascinating, then you know that is the one of the best things I can possibly say about someone.

Thoughts on Injustice

There is so much injustice in the world.

A lot of the times I say that I don't think about things. And by things I mean everything in the world; every serious concern, every problem, every action. I just am not a thinker, and I just kind of go with whatever happens and don't worry about it. But I've come to a realization recently. I have trained myself to not think about things, because when I do buckle down and think about problems, I get really worked up. I get entirely consumed in the injustice of the world. I can be very opinionated about problems in the world and I want everyone to just be kind and act fairly. I just get so frustrated. And thus, I end up rambling, and just beating the same idea into the ground many times over... which I'm about to do right now.

An injustice that I am currently frustrated with (and have been for years): the way most facilities handle juvenile delinquents.
I recognize that most facilities do not have the resources to hire exceptional counselors and to utilize the best of the best in rehabilitation, but honestly, I am immensely saddened by the way that delinquency is handled in our country. Most of these delinquent youths have not been given the opportunities to better their lives. They were raised in difficult home situations, often with relatives who struggle themselves and are living lives that will lead them to being locked up as well. It's a never ending, vicious cycle of crime, lack of education, lack of resources, and lack of discipline. These kids are not given the chance to become better and they often don't even realize that they are stuck in a terrible world that has condemned them. Now don't get me wrong, obviously it's not completely due to environment that kids become delinquent, it's very much a consequence of their individual thoughts and actions as well, but I think the grand majority of the blame ought to be placed on the environment. If we can improve their environment, then we are improving their chances of succeeding in a productive, law-abiding life. And these detention centers, rehabilitation centers, and other facilities for delinquents often do not give these kids the opportunities they deserve. They need caring, patient counselors who are willing to spend as much time as it will take to help these kids in whatever they need. Those who will go above and beyond their job; who realize that though this is their job, it's much more important than that - they are influencing these kids and potentially changing their lives. They need to be the best influence possible and show their concern.

Soapbox end. This is what being a sociology major does to you.

Technology

So... it's been a while. I don't think I've ever gone this long without blogging. But I'm back! December flashed by and so has half of January. I'm into a new semester and I love school. I've just developed this love of thinking and analyzing, and that is what this post is all about. Enjoy!

I am having a really hard time focusing in the library. Want to know why? Because this world is so individualized and privatized. I look around the library and I just see people all in their own little electronic worlds – on their laptops, cell phones, and head phones. Everyone has so many ways of accessing what others are doing and saying on the internet, but they don’t know anything about them personally. They know them on facebook, twitter, spotify, instagram, blogs, online games, and through texting, but they don’t know the real person. There are some things that just can not be expressed in any way except in person. Some emotions can not be portrayed through texting, no matter how many different smiley, frowny, or winky faces you use. When your main form of communication and socializing is through electronics, you lose a sense of reality. I also feel like you can lose a sense of trust, because these aren’t just spoken words… these are words that have been put into text and can be preserved forever and shared with anyone.

I’m not saying that technology is a bad thing. Oh, I am not saying that at all! But I am saying that when it starts to interfere with normal, everyday communication, then it definitely can be. Or when it becomes your main form of communication. I’ve seen too many situations where someone is with a group of friends physically, but they mentally are not there. They are just on their phone texting someone else or even playing a game, showing that the current situation is not important enough for their attention. This is not okay.

Humans crave personal, human interaction. It is in our nature. But then we go and lose the substance of the interaction by getting caught up on our electronics. It’s a vicious cycle. Some people get depressed because they do not interact in a significant way with others as much as they would like, but then they do things that inhibit any such action from occurring. Technology in some ways seems to be slowly making us completely disconnected from one another. And this is not okay.
So just some words of advice: put it down, turn it off, unplug it. Not always, but occasionally. Just take a break from technology and really enjoy the world. Go have a real conversation with some you care about... Or have a real conversation with some one you hardly know and maybe they can become a great friend. Technology is a blessing and makes life so much easier and more convenient, but it shouldn't be a hinderance or take over your life. Let's not forget to be humans.

Selfish

Sometimes I can be selfish. I get so caught up and focused on myself and forget to think about other people. Today I was reminded that it is not all about me.

I am surrounded by people. Every single one of them has a story and joys and trials. And here at school, every single one of them is worrying about school and passing their classes and trying to not die under all the pressure. While it is very important for me to focus on school and getting my education and good grades, it is also important for me to reach out and help others realize that they are fabulous and important. Obviously I can't meet every person in the world, or even on this campus, but I can start with those that live around me, in my building.
Honestly, I know that my life is not the most important.