On Marriage.

Over the last 6 months, the question I've gotten the most is, "how's married life?" and I don't know how to answer that.

I honestly feel like it's pretty much the same as before except now we live together and have sex. So I guess that's my answer: "sex is great, thanks for asking."

Anyway, these first 6 months of marriage have been fun. I barely see Alex during the week because we both work during the day and then have class at night. But weekends are extra chill and nice. 

We do a lot of netflix watching (currently in season 6 of Supernatural and recently finished Alex's first time watching Parks and Rec). We also visit my parents a lot because they live 2 miles away and have cable, so that's where we watch all of the sports (Go Jazz).

Marriage has really just been a series of saying good morning, debating what to make for dinner, ending up eating out, watch shows, bashing on the neighbors, and saying I love you. It's seriously the best.

Here's some pics of us, sorry we're gross and in love and crap.

Life, man

I have not blogged in nearly a year. Coincidentally, my last post was about being disenchanted with dating and it was on November 2... that was the week I started dating my now fiance, who I am marrying in 9 days, on November 2nd! Life is weird, man.

But yes, let me repeat, I GET MARRIED IN NINE DAYS!
I'm marrying a boy who is perfect. Actually, he's very much not perfect, but he is definitely perfect for me. He is shy and hilarious and so so kind. He is nerdy and comfortable and supportive. He is caring and hard working and completely ridiculous. I've never been so happy, rolled my eyes so much, cared so much about basketball, or loved someone this hard. He's nothing like what I expected to fall for and I wouldn't ask for anything different.
He loves Star Wars and Lord of the Rings maybe more than I do. He proposed to me with a Harry Potter board game, even though he's not a huge HP fan (don't worry, this will change). He knows my heart and he knows how to make me laugh. He's just one of those feel good people. You just get around him and feel comfortable.

I could go on forever about how great he is, but I will refrain. You're welcome.

What I will say is that timing is the weirdest thing. My life has been in limbo so many times in the last 5 years, so when it kind of went off the tracks and into limbo again last fall, I thought nothing of it. All of my friends in Salt Lake had gotten married and I had no one left to live with, so I moved in with my 95 year old great grandmother for an undetermined amount of time. This was strange, but also normal, because strange and uncertain living situations had been my normal for years. And that is when I met Alex.
Life is strange and unpredictable and when I met him, I thought nothing of it. I had met a lot of cute boys in a lot of wards and nothing ever came of them. When we started dating, I thought nothing of it. This had all happened before and it always ended, that's literally all I knew. I honestly think that subconsciously endings is all I expected from dating. So when we hit 6 months of dating and I realized this was the longest relationship I had ever had, I was SHOCKED. People don't date me for this long; they figure out I'm crazy and try to avoid me or I get bored and dump them, but never ever do we keep dating for 6 months.
And then we kept dating.
And then he said he wanted to marry me. And again I was SHOCKED. I always wanted to get married and find someone to spend forever with, but the fact that this real, living, breathing, awesome human boy was saying he wanted to spend forever with me... I just didn't know how to handle it.
For about 3 months he would say the same things: he wanted to marry me, but he didn't want to rush me or push me into something I wasn't ready for. He said he he was willing to wait for me as long as it took. WHAT. Who even is this amazing, patient boy. This boy who never pushed me, this boy who never made me do anything I didn't want or wasn't ready for, this boy who supports me in my career and in my dreams. I still don't know why it took me 3 months to decide that obviously this is the right boy for me.
But here we are. I'm grossly cheesy all the time and I hate it. I'm in love and I roll my eyes at us sometimes. We're getting married next week, and I could not be more excited. Here's a picture of our faces:

Disenchanted Dating

I've seen too many people become disenchanted with dating and become pessimistic about it. This breaks my little, ever-loving heart.

I am 26 years old and single. In a Mormon society that puts such an emphasis on marriage, this is a weird thing. The grand majority of my friends are married; most were married by the time they were 23 or 24, and honestly I think my friend group got married later than the average age for Mormons. Lots of my friends have kids or are trying to have kids. What I'm trying to get at is that I am an oddity being 26, single, and Mormon.

My two best friends got married within 2 weeks of each other last year. My younger brother got married a month before that, and another friend got married a month or two after. Within a manner of 4 months, I was a bridesmaid 4 times. This was beautiful and amazing and I was so so happy for them all, don't get me wrong. But that was also a very crappy, hard time.

So my point is: I GET IT. I understand the frustration with dating and the feelings of inadequacy and heart break. I totally get the overwhelming (and usually unintentional) pressure to GET MARRIED NOW that sometimes comes from friends, church leaders, relatives, or even myself. I understand how it feels when I talk to my best friends and realize that I can't relate to the phase of life that they are experiencing. It sucks and I get it.

But what I don't get is the negativity. Now I'm not here to be Miss Unrealistic and Peppy and tell you that you need to be happy and positive all the time, even when things suck. That's not realistic and I would be a hypocrite if I told you I always enjoyed dating. I have had moments when I am so frustrated and confused and all I can do is shout to the sky or write in my journal or cry on the phone to my mom and say, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?"

I have been there more times than I would like to admit, but it does not have to be that way!

Despite all of the nonsense and frustration that comes along with dating, I full-heartedly believe that dating should be a wonderful thing and no one should ever give up on it! Dating doesn't need to be stressful. It's just a time to get to know new people and see if there are any of them that you want to continue getting to know. Honestly, it is that simple.

I've seen too many friends become so pessimistic about anything and everything to do with dating. They don't feel like they're living up to the expectations being placed on them. They feel constantly judged. They get frustrated and discouraged when they get rejected or when they feel like they've tried and failed over and over. They just assume that everyone else is out on dates every weekend and they're the only ones sitting home alone.

I think the problem stems from making dating the main focus of ones life. When that is the case and when that part of their life is not particularly successful, then they feel down about everything. Yes, dating is very important and I think marriage is a goal that everyone should have, however, it does not need to be the ONLY goal. There are so many other things in life that people can focus on and improve and succeed in. I wish that people didn't make dating the only way that they gauge their personal success.

I can't really work out how put my feelings on this matter into words, but what I want to convey is that there is so much in life to love and be happy about. If you focus on the stupidity of any situation, you're going to hate it and become bitter, but if you focus on the positive moments, you are going to love it. This applies to everything in life, including dating. I have to constantly put myself in check about this because sometimes that is so much easier said than done.

So much love.

So I'm a bit late with these pictures, but they need to be posted regardless, because I love these people and I love love. A large number of my best friends got married within 4 months of each other (Kaylee back in September, if you remember), and it has been so much fun!
Apparently I'm all about the celebrity couple names, because we did it with Shenna as well. Shawn and Jenna, those cheesy beyond belief lovebirds. They got married back at the end of December and it was beautiful. look at them:

And then if that much love and marriage wasn't enough, two weeks later, we had the marriage of these two crazy kids:

Joel and Andee (no, I never called them Jandee). These two are my best friends. I love them so much. Apparently I was having so much fun on their wedding day that I literally only took one picture, So the last two I stole from Andee's FB (Stephanie Sunderland Photography).

This is my adorable date that I got to look after outside the temple.

This was the most triumphant moment ever. I wanted that bouquet so badly.

Karen.

So it's been a month and a half since I last updated the blog. Sometimes I'm just not as into it as usual. But I'm back, hopefully. And ladies and gentlemen, let me just tell you... life has been a crazy hullabaloo of fun, sad, wonderful, hilarious, exhausting, stressful, and awesome memories.

Let's first just take a moment to appreciate love. And marriage.
Never fear, not my own love and marriage, but that of my roommates. In the last month or so I have had 2 roommates get engaged and the one that was already engaged got married. Lots of love? You are quite right. And it has been wonderful. In the last 8 months, I have been able to see these relationships begin and develop and grow and become something wonderful.
I am so so so happy for my best friends and that they have each found an AMAZING man to spend eternity with. Does life get better than that?

Kaylee + Daren = Karen. Or Daylee?
Kaylee has been my best friend for 4 years. Living with someone brings you closer than pretty much anything and I love this girl with all of my heart. She's always been the one to share all of my nerdy passions and get excited about the most ridiculous things. She plans the best parties in the world and she understands my love of themed events. Midnight premier? Kaylee and I are the ones at the front of the line and pre-buying enough tickets for all of our friends. We just have so much fun.
Kaylee is also my therapist. She understands when there is an issue and she knows how to make me look at every side of the situation. She knows just what to say to shine a new light on a problem and she will let me sit in my pit of stubbornness as long as it takes for me to understand what she's saying. And she gives unparalleled advice.
Kaylee has taught me how to give my all in everything I'm involved in. With her, there is no wishy-washy indecisiveness. You make a commitment and you stick with it until it is good and done. I admire that trait so much.
I honestly truly don't know what I would be like without Kaylee Joy.

Kaylee and Daren's wedding day was absolutely beautiful. They are so in love and I am so excited for their life together. I knew from the day we returned from our California trip back in February that they were perfect for each other. And I am thrilled to have been able to be there to support them for their wedding! Here's a few of my faves from the day:

All of Kaylee's friends that were there at the temple when they came out. I love this group of humans.

Bridesmaids!

And let's just take a moment to appreciate every person's face in this picture. Everything is solid gold entertainment. Winning.

MT and I proving that we were the one's that made this marriage happen. We brought them together in California. But you don't have to thank us.