THOUGHTS ON REPRESENTATION

I had a discussion once upon a time about gender and racial representation in our culture. The discussion centered specifically around the amount of Asian-American representation at the Olympics this year, but I think it applies to pretty much everything else as well. I was talking about how important it was for children to see themselves represented in the media that they view. The guy disagreeing with me (a white male) stated that this made absolutely no sense because he couldn't name a single white Olympian besides Shawn White and his heroes growing up were Black and Latino baseball players. We never came to any type of agreement, as those types of discussions typically go, but it had me thinking for months afterward. Then in one of my classes today, we had a discussion about representation and it brought all of these thoughts screaming back into my head (this is my white privileged that I don't have to be faced with the issue of representation on a daily basis).

I feel SO empowered when I see strong, successful women in movies, TV, and real life. It inspires me and encourages me to continue to work toward my goals, because if they can do, then maybe I can too. This does not take away from any amount of inspiration that I may receive from seeing a male succeed as well. I have been plenty inspired in my life by the words and deeds of white males. But it feels different when I see the woman out there doing her thing and succeeding. I can see myself in her and I know how freaking hard she had to work to get where she is. It's just a whole new level of empowerment for me.

In my mind, the issue of representation is focused on children. As a strong, independent adult, I recognize what I'm capable of and how much potential is within me. I think children are much more impressionable. We can tell them how amazing they are all day and they might even believe us, but children are observers. And when a child observes someone that looks like them out there saving the world, or making new discoveries, or being president, then they can so much more easily picture themselves doing the same thing. Sure, a little girl can imagine being president of the United States, but imagine how much MORE she would believe that was possible if she SAW a woman actually being president of the United States.

Now I recognize that I do not have the experience of being a racial minority, and as such, I am in no place to be lecturing about racial representation. But I do believe that this same theory of representation applies. Consistently seeing heroes and winners and successful people of one's own race is inspiring, even if it is subconscious. Every child deserves to see someone who looks like them in a successful role. Seeing such makes it so much easier to picture themselves being successful like that as well. Every child deserves that feeling of empowerment that comes from seeing someone of their own race out there doing their thing and being successful at it!

Sure, there is the exception of the little white boy who's major heroes are Black and Latino baseball players. But I think it's different for that little boy, because he has OPTIONS. He has tons of examples of successful white men in his life, and he has the privileged of being influenced by both those examples AND the examples of these baseball players of other races. This is awesome, and I wish every child had that opportunity! But many children see tons and tons of successful white men, and maybe one or two successful people that look like them. This isn't fair. These children deserve to see people that look like them and be able to inspired and empowered to be themselves! We need to encourage equal representation in the media, and in sports, and in the heads of multi-million dollar corporations, and everywhere!

Disenchanted Dating

I've seen too many people become disenchanted with dating and become pessimistic about it. This breaks my little, ever-loving heart.

I am 26 years old and single. In a Mormon society that puts such an emphasis on marriage, this is a weird thing. The grand majority of my friends are married; most were married by the time they were 23 or 24, and honestly I think my friend group got married later than the average age for Mormons. Lots of my friends have kids or are trying to have kids. What I'm trying to get at is that I am an oddity being 26, single, and Mormon.

My two best friends got married within 2 weeks of each other last year. My younger brother got married a month before that, and another friend got married a month or two after. Within a manner of 4 months, I was a bridesmaid 4 times. This was beautiful and amazing and I was so so happy for them all, don't get me wrong. But that was also a very crappy, hard time.

So my point is: I GET IT. I understand the frustration with dating and the feelings of inadequacy and heart break. I totally get the overwhelming (and usually unintentional) pressure to GET MARRIED NOW that sometimes comes from friends, church leaders, relatives, or even myself. I understand how it feels when I talk to my best friends and realize that I can't relate to the phase of life that they are experiencing. It sucks and I get it.

But what I don't get is the negativity. Now I'm not here to be Miss Unrealistic and Peppy and tell you that you need to be happy and positive all the time, even when things suck. That's not realistic and I would be a hypocrite if I told you I always enjoyed dating. I have had moments when I am so frustrated and confused and all I can do is shout to the sky or write in my journal or cry on the phone to my mom and say, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?"

I have been there more times than I would like to admit, but it does not have to be that way!

Despite all of the nonsense and frustration that comes along with dating, I full-heartedly believe that dating should be a wonderful thing and no one should ever give up on it! Dating doesn't need to be stressful. It's just a time to get to know new people and see if there are any of them that you want to continue getting to know. Honestly, it is that simple.

I've seen too many friends become so pessimistic about anything and everything to do with dating. They don't feel like they're living up to the expectations being placed on them. They feel constantly judged. They get frustrated and discouraged when they get rejected or when they feel like they've tried and failed over and over. They just assume that everyone else is out on dates every weekend and they're the only ones sitting home alone.

I think the problem stems from making dating the main focus of ones life. When that is the case and when that part of their life is not particularly successful, then they feel down about everything. Yes, dating is very important and I think marriage is a goal that everyone should have, however, it does not need to be the ONLY goal. There are so many other things in life that people can focus on and improve and succeed in. I wish that people didn't make dating the only way that they gauge their personal success.

I can't really work out how put my feelings on this matter into words, but what I want to convey is that there is so much in life to love and be happy about. If you focus on the stupidity of any situation, you're going to hate it and become bitter, but if you focus on the positive moments, you are going to love it. This applies to everything in life, including dating. I have to constantly put myself in check about this because sometimes that is so much easier said than done.

Thoughts on America

I realize I have not blogged in ages, and I probably won't start blogging a ton after this either, but I had thoughts running through my head that needed an outlet. And my thoughts today are too long to fit into a 140-character tweet, which is what I usually do, so I have turned to the blog.

Today is the fourth of July. Independence Day for the United States of America. One of my favorite days of the year.
I love celebrating the 4th of July. My family always goes to the parade in the morning and it is a huge, fun, loud ordeal. And then we swim and play and eat to our hearts content. And then we watch fireworks. Fireworks are one of the best parts about the summertime. Overall, this is simply one of the best holidays with the best traditions.

But here's the thing: America is struggling. Maybe in my maturity I'm just more aware of the world than I ever have been in the past, but I feel like this nation, especially lately, is in constant contention with it's self and with the rest of the world. Specifically the contention within ourselves is the part that is overwhelming and disheartening to me. It seems to be eating us up from the inside. People are always arguing; not just having civil disagreements, which I think is a very healthy thing for all societies, but fights and name calling and an unwillingness to even listen to an opinion different than one's own. Sometimes these disagreements even turn to violence and that is unspeakably terrible.
It's really discouraging and heartbreaking to hear about such occurrences within this place that is supposed to be so happy and so free. I hadn't even realized it until today, but recently I've developed a somewhat negative attitude toward this country that I love so much. So often all we hear about is the bad, and I was beginning to believe it to be 100% true. While I do recognize that this country is not perfect and we have some major things we need to work on, today reminded me that this is still America. We are still so blessed to be in a country with all of the freedoms and rights that we have.

The majority of the youth that I work with are extremely underprivileged. They come from poverty situations, broken homes, and very rough neighborhoods. In my work, I focus so often on how unfairly society has treated them and how they were born into a situation where they never had a chance to succeed. I read articles and talk to my fellow professionals about how these youth are so underprivileged and lacking so much by way of materials, experiences, and finances. It's quite discouraging to realize that statistics say that it is incredibly unlikely for most of these kids to overcome the circumstances that they were born into. Most studies say that these youth will follow their parent's histories of violence, crime, lack of education, and poverty.

I could go on and on about the links between poverty, education, and delinquency, however today I realized that this is not the only perspective. This negative, static view of the future of these youths is not the only way of viewing their potential. Today I was reminded of hope and potential for the future of all of the youth of this nation.

We live in a country where it is completely possible for a kid to be born in the worst of circumstances and to eventually become anything they could ever dream of. Yes, this is difficult, and yes, this takes time, perhaps even a lifetime, but the bottom line is that it is possible. The youth of this country have the potential to change their lives and change the world. We live in a country where our destinies are not predetermined and we have control over who we become and how successful we will be. Yes, this country is still struggling and still has hatred, fear, and misunderstanding of so many minority and underprivileged groups. But people are advocating for change and understanding, because that's something we can do in this country! We are allowed to have a voice and we are allowed to try to change the things we don't like. We are not perfect and we have lots to work on, but isn't that exactly how America should be? This is a place of constant change and adaptation, and that is a good thing. And this is a place where our children have very bright, hopeful futures, and that is what America is all about. I'm not giving up on America and the future it holds for our youth, and I hope no one else is either.

I'm back and I know things

I have not written on this blog in quite a long time. I just honestly didn't have anything to say. I feel like I go through spurts of having all these opinions and thoughts and insights, and having a great desire to share them. And then I have times where it seems pointless. But recently I've felt the desire to get my words on a page again because sometimes that is the best way to sort out my thoughts and my feelings. I think this is why I initially started blogging. Also because I think I'm hilarious.

Well, I'm back. Who knows how long it will be for; it could be forever or maybe just this one post, I don't even know yet.

But here are some things I do know:

I do know that I have a lot of thoughts running through my head all the time.
I do know that life is so weird and doesn't turn out how you expected.
I do know that being unemployed is a party for about a week and then it is the worst.
I do know that I have become obsessed with twitter in the last 6 months.
I do know that I want to get on a plane right now and I don't care where it goes, I just want to explore.
I do know that I FINALLY moved out of Provo 2 months ago.
I also know that I'm living in my parents basement and it's so weird, good but weird.
I do know that youtube can teach you to crochet.
I do know that it's possible for netflix to be a good friend.
I do know that my brother comes home from his mission in 4 months.
I do know that I have the best friends in the world.
And I do know that it is possible to be happy no matter what is going on in your life.

Why I love benches.

I went on a lovely walk down the Provo River Trail the other day and in typical fashion, I saw a bench that I fell in love with. I have so much love for sitting on benches and for the first time ever I have appropriately verbalized my reasons for that love.

Anywhere I go, I search out well placed benches to sit upon. I don't consciously look for them, but my focus is always drawn to benches when they are present. A well-placed bench brings me back to everything good about the world and about nature.

There are two types of well placed benches: those that best observe nature and those that best observe people. And my favorite benches always combine these two elements. A bench lets you sit and take a break from the world. You sit down and the rest of the world continues to move on around you. A bench gives you the opportunity to become a momentary observer of life, instead of a participant.

I love humans. I know I've said this a lot, but I am just so fascinated by people and the way that they are. I'm fascinated by different socioeconomic levels and how that effects people in every facet of their lives. I'm fascinated by the way that people interact with each other. I'm fascinated by the mere fact that every single human that I encounter has a whole lifetime worth of back story that creates the unique individual that I am now facing. I just plain love humans.

When watching people in a park, it is not out of the ordinary to sit on a bench, so people continue on their way without paying you much notice. This is exactly how I like it, because people act normal when their surroundings feel normal and people are most fascinating when they're not acting at all, they are just being. I could sit on a bench, watching people for hours and just trying to guess their stories and figure out how they got to this moment in their lives.

When there is a bench in the woods or along a trail or in any other variety of natural surroundings, then sitting on this bench always helps me feel at peace. Even just smack in the middle of a quiet forest, I can still take a moment to watch life happen all around me. Nature is amazing and the world is beautiful. Sitting on a bench in nature allows me to quietly ponder life and to appreciate how wonderful it is.

You know what else benches are good for? Having deep meaningful conversations. As I've already said, the environment around benches creates a peaceful feeling, and it is this feeling that creates the perfect situation for talking about the hard things in life. I have had many lovely, insightful conversations while sitting on benches in my lifetime.

Next time you see a bench at the park, just take a seat for a moment.  Soak in the world. Enjoy the nature, enjoy the people. Reach outside yourself and find something beautiful in the world around you. This is the reason I will forever be finding new benches to fall in love with.

Thoughts on Injustice

There is so much injustice in the world.

A lot of the times I say that I don't think about things. And by things I mean everything in the world; every serious concern, every problem, every action. I just am not a thinker, and I just kind of go with whatever happens and don't worry about it. But I've come to a realization recently. I have trained myself to not think about things, because when I do buckle down and think about problems, I get really worked up. I get entirely consumed in the injustice of the world. I can be very opinionated about problems in the world and I want everyone to just be kind and act fairly. I just get so frustrated. And thus, I end up rambling, and just beating the same idea into the ground many times over... which I'm about to do right now.

An injustice that I am currently frustrated with (and have been for years): the way most facilities handle juvenile delinquents.
I recognize that most facilities do not have the resources to hire exceptional counselors and to utilize the best of the best in rehabilitation, but honestly, I am immensely saddened by the way that delinquency is handled in our country. Most of these delinquent youths have not been given the opportunities to better their lives. They were raised in difficult home situations, often with relatives who struggle themselves and are living lives that will lead them to being locked up as well. It's a never ending, vicious cycle of crime, lack of education, lack of resources, and lack of discipline. These kids are not given the chance to become better and they often don't even realize that they are stuck in a terrible world that has condemned them. Now don't get me wrong, obviously it's not completely due to environment that kids become delinquent, it's very much a consequence of their individual thoughts and actions as well, but I think the grand majority of the blame ought to be placed on the environment. If we can improve their environment, then we are improving their chances of succeeding in a productive, law-abiding life. And these detention centers, rehabilitation centers, and other facilities for delinquents often do not give these kids the opportunities they deserve. They need caring, patient counselors who are willing to spend as much time as it will take to help these kids in whatever they need. Those who will go above and beyond their job; who realize that though this is their job, it's much more important than that - they are influencing these kids and potentially changing their lives. They need to be the best influence possible and show their concern.

Soapbox end. This is what being a sociology major does to you.

Technology

So... it's been a while. I don't think I've ever gone this long without blogging. But I'm back! December flashed by and so has half of January. I'm into a new semester and I love school. I've just developed this love of thinking and analyzing, and that is what this post is all about. Enjoy!

I am having a really hard time focusing in the library. Want to know why? Because this world is so individualized and privatized. I look around the library and I just see people all in their own little electronic worlds – on their laptops, cell phones, and head phones. Everyone has so many ways of accessing what others are doing and saying on the internet, but they don’t know anything about them personally. They know them on facebook, twitter, spotify, instagram, blogs, online games, and through texting, but they don’t know the real person. There are some things that just can not be expressed in any way except in person. Some emotions can not be portrayed through texting, no matter how many different smiley, frowny, or winky faces you use. When your main form of communication and socializing is through electronics, you lose a sense of reality. I also feel like you can lose a sense of trust, because these aren’t just spoken words… these are words that have been put into text and can be preserved forever and shared with anyone.

I’m not saying that technology is a bad thing. Oh, I am not saying that at all! But I am saying that when it starts to interfere with normal, everyday communication, then it definitely can be. Or when it becomes your main form of communication. I’ve seen too many situations where someone is with a group of friends physically, but they mentally are not there. They are just on their phone texting someone else or even playing a game, showing that the current situation is not important enough for their attention. This is not okay.

Humans crave personal, human interaction. It is in our nature. But then we go and lose the substance of the interaction by getting caught up on our electronics. It’s a vicious cycle. Some people get depressed because they do not interact in a significant way with others as much as they would like, but then they do things that inhibit any such action from occurring. Technology in some ways seems to be slowly making us completely disconnected from one another. And this is not okay.
So just some words of advice: put it down, turn it off, unplug it. Not always, but occasionally. Just take a break from technology and really enjoy the world. Go have a real conversation with some you care about... Or have a real conversation with some one you hardly know and maybe they can become a great friend. Technology is a blessing and makes life so much easier and more convenient, but it shouldn't be a hinderance or take over your life. Let's not forget to be humans.

Raise your beard card.

So I was daydreaming in class the other day and then I was rudely awakened by the teacher slightly changing his tone of voice (it was still just as monotone, just about half a step higher). So I jolted awake, and the only thing I remembered from my quick mental trip to the great wide world of dreams was the phrase, "raise your beard card." Yeah, I wish I could remember the daydream too. I'm sure it was a good one.
Anyway, so in my half-waking state, I thought that phrase was brilliant, so I wrote it down. When I looked at it in my notes later, I just shook my head. But then it got me thinking.
I like beards.
Why do I go to BYU? Well it's definitely not because of all the good beards on campus.
There are no good beards on campus. In fact, there are no beards on campus PERIOD. Except for the few and the proud who are in possession of the coveted beard card.
What is a beard card, you might ask? Don't get excited, it's not as cool as it sounds. A beard card is a card that gives men permission to have a beard on campus. Because, you see, beards are forbidden. Why are they forbidden? This is a wonderful question. One to which I have no answer. I see nothing wrong with a well-trimmed, good-looking beard.
I love good beards. Not all beards, because there are definitely gross beards in the world. But I love good ones.
So, raise your beard card.

Side hugs.

Observing the world and commenting on its absurdities is one of my favorite past times. Sometimes I just like to sit and watch people and see how they interact. The culture of the university which I attend makes for some even more outrageous situations than the average outrageous interaction. Today's topic of observed absurdity:

The awkward side hug.

This is one of my favorite parts about watching people around campus. I will admit that I've been in my fair share of awkward side hugs. They are great.
I don't usually mind awkward side hugs, except for when the awkwardness is not acknowledged and laughed at. But I would never be the one to initiate a side hug, I always go for the full-frontal hug. (I do not take credit for the hilarity in the title "full-frontal hug")
I have a dear friend of mine, who shall remain nameless (it starts with a K and rhymes with jendra), and she ALWAYS goes for the side hug. Don't worry, I give her a hard time every time this happens.
I can't even explain the side hug. It's just bad news bears.

You see someone on campus that you know, not super well, but you know them enough that you feel obligated to carry on a conversation with them. It could be someone from freshman year who you haven't seen forever, someone you went to high school with, someone you went on a blind date with and had fun but haven't talked to since... there are a lot of these people, you know what I'm talking about.
You are obligated to talk to this person (sometimes you don't want to, sometimes you do; either way you are obligated to). You approach and aren't sure what's going to happen and then BAM, they go for the side hug. There's no avoiding it, there's no going back.
It's like they're saying: "Hey, I don't want to actually hug you, but I feel like I should, so let's just stand side-by-side and only embrace halfway because more physical contact with you than that might make me hurl." Not cool.

You know what makes side hugs even more awkward? Backpacks.
Backpacks really make any form of hugging awkward. It's like: " Oh, hi. I appreciate your presence so I'm going to hug you. Oh no, I just wrapped my arms around you and you were twice as wide as I was expecting. Oh wait, I'm not even hugging you anymore, I feel like I'm hugging your backpack. Cool."

Yeah.

Beezer.

Today I created a playlist of Weezer and Beyoncé songs.
I called it Beezer.
That should tell you what kind of a day it was.
Honestly, it probably won't tell you what kind of day it was.
I'm not even sure what kind of day that is because I've never put that music combo together before.
But let me tell you, it was brilliant.

Today's favorite Weezer song. And today's favorite Beyoncé song.
It was definitely a good day.

Me. Today.

I love people who are confident in themselves, but not cocky.

I love eating holiday foods. Particularly ham. And green bean casserole.

I like when we play Bananagrams in the library.

I am a fan of my Ron Weasley lego keychain.

I love the productive feeling I get when I finish a paper/project the day before it's due, instead of an hour before.

I appreciate listening to Christmas music at work.

I enjoy my major. People are so interesting.

I love when you find a really well placed, comfortable bench and just sit there forever because it's that wonderful.

I like this song. It just makes me happy.

Probably my life is crazy and busy and overwhelming but I love it. Especially the people in it.
Good work.

Blood.

I find giving blood to be an interesting experience.

Really, they are just removing some of your life-blood. Weird.

In past blood-giving experiences, I have at one point passed out, and at another point lost the contents of my stomach. They were unpleasant experiences. However, I really do enjoy knowing that I've helped people, so I keep doing it.

Also, I feel that it is my duty to give my blood. You see, it is O-negative.

Everyone wants my blood.

So yesterday I definitely prepared myself. I drank a ridiculous amount of water. Luckily I love my water bottle. And I even made time to make myself a lunch that morning. So I prepared myself before, which is new, and it definitely had a good effect. I didn't get sick or dizzy. I was perfectly fine in fact. Except for the fact that my phlebotomist was totally freaking me out.

I really don't have a problem with blood or needles or anything like that. But when the person sticking you with a needle and swiping your blood is super apologetic, then that makes me lose all faith in her.

Result: my arm is so ridiculously bruised today. Ouch.

Blog

Why do I clog? Ok, that was hilarious. I def meant to say: Why do I blog? but naturally I ended up asking the cosmos why I clog. It's a valid question. I have no answer, if you have an answer for me, then please, enlighten me. End of typo-induced tangent.

Why do I blog? (this is the real question) I think I really enjoy hearing myself talk, but sometimes I don't want people to think I'm as crazy as I actually am, so instead of talking, I type. However, I hate the word blog. It's ugly and sounds like someone is choking. They should probs name it something else. I'll think of something and let you know.

Another reason I blog: I think I'm hilarious. I have decided to be generous and share my hilarity with the general population. I don't thank me, I know I'm fabulous.

I used to have people I knew all over the world. Kaylee was in London, Grandparents were in Uganda, Gimps was in Cambodia, and Lyse was everywhere. I blogged to keep them updated. And stuff. But alas, they have all returned to me and the great state of Utah, yet I continue to blog. So I guess I blog more for myself than for them.

Yes, I think this world is wonderful. Life is hard, people cry, hearts get broken, and people are mean. But in all reality, this world provides some spectacular experiences, the best of friendships, and joy beyond belief. I blog in order to remind myself of the joy in life. Yes. Life is good. And I don't want to forget it.

So I blog. Not having one specific reason, just hoping that I can preserve a portion of my life in text.

.

I have an affinity for using periods in my writing.

That fabulous little piece of punctuation.

I am typically opposed to using exclamation marks, except on very special occasions, when something is worthy of more excitement than I usually posses towards life. So, moral of that story/tangent: pay close attention when I use exclamation marks.

Back to the real focus of this blog post. I love periods. I daresay the period is my favorite form of punctuation. I will admit that as much as I under-use the exclamation mark, I overuse the period. Though I can't say that this is necessarily a problem. I feel as though short, brief sentences ending in periods get my point across and portray how I speak. My speaking style being succinct, sarcastic, direct, and mildly hilarious. Obviously periods express this perfectly. I'm a fan.

I choose pirates.

It is the eternal battle. Everyone must take sides at some point. It is one of those things that is simply inevitable. This is the never ending debate/war/competition between ninjas and pirates.
Maybe it's just my friends and family, but I have been asked to take a stand in this debate many times. I have never been able to come to a conclusion. Until now.

I choose pirates.

I thought it would be a difficult decision, but when it came right down to it, I looked at the facts and it was quite easy. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for ninjas, and would undoubtedly become one if I had the ability and/or opportunity. Also, not be stereotypical, but ninjas are typically Asian, and sometimes I think that I have more Asian friends than the typical white Utahn. So, moral of that story is that I love ninjas.

However, pirates are the winning party in this situation. I have defeated my fair share of ninjas in my time, but I can't say that I have ever defeated a pirate. Probably because I couldn't. And that right there is a substantial argument. But wait, there's more! Think about it: pirates are rad! They just chill out on ships for incredibly long periods of time and then instill fear in peoples hearts when they decide to come ashore. Also, the orchestra played a Pirates medly at the Bingham High School graduation this year, which I interpreted as encouragement for those grads to go out and pillage and plunder. A most excellent message, if I do say so myself. Also, I suppose it's meant to be an insult, but I find it hilarious when pirates say "wench." So all in all, pirates are just the best. Unbeatable, really. Plus, it's way more fun to say that you're stealing booty than to say that you're kicking booty.

No, my opinion on the matter will not bring the everlasting debate to a close, but as always, I had to put my two-sense in. Ninjas vs. Pirates. Always a good conversation starter.