Letter to my 16 year old self

About a year ago I sat down and wrote this letter to my 16 year old self. I had been graduated from college for about 6 months at that point, and I had taken the time to reflect back on how much I had learn and grown since I was 16. So, I wrote a letter, and I just rediscovered it today and I thought it deserved a share.

Dear 16 year old Jennie, 

You are amazing! But you’re not the best. I know that sounds harsh, but it is the truth. This is something I wish I had learned when I was 16, but unfortunately, I’ve had to go through multiple painful experiences to learn that. Being proud of who you are is a good thing, but pride is not. You are incredible and have the potential to do amazing things, but it’s just that: potential. You don’t know everything, you don’t have everything figured out, and you can’t do it all on your own. Please realize that you can change the world, but be humble enough to reach out to others for help. You have an incredible sense of self-worth; never lose that. But again, that is not something you’ve accomplished on your own. Don’t’ base your self-worth on how others see you, whether or not a boy likes you, or how many people ask you to hang out on the weekends. Your self-worth needs to come from two places: from inside yourself and from the Lord. That’s the amazing benefit of having a Savior: He is there to support you through every little thing and no matter how far you personally let yourself drop, He will never let you fall completely as long as you are relying on Him. This is something I’ve learned the hard way, but you don’t have to do that. Build that relationship with the Lord now so that you don’t have to drop lower than you ever have before in order to learn it. 

You know what else I want you to know? That you can honest to goodness do anything. Don’t let fears get in the way. Don’t be afraid of failing, that’s just part of life. You’re not going to be perfect at everything the first time you try it, but trying is the only way you’re going to get better and become perfect. Change is beautiful. Scary and intimidating, but so beautiful. Be willing to embrace change. Accept new people, new experiences, and new ideas into your life. Life seems perfect now, but I promise you that being open to new things will make it even better and take it on turns that you may never expect. Don’t be scared to do things that none of your friends are doing. If you’re interested in it, then just freaking do it! You have an incredible personality and you will make friends wherever you are. Take opportunities to do internships, to leave the state or even the country, and to be bold. If you don’t, then you may find yourself sitting around in future years regretting letting those opportunities slip by. Yes, I suppose I’m saying to live your life with no regrets, but that doesn’t in any way mean to live it with no values. Realize the difference. 

Listen to me when I say that this Church is true. I know you think you know that now, and I’m sure you do in some ways, but you need to KNOW it without a doubt. You are surrounded by parents, friends, and situations that support your testimony, which is an amazing blessing. But I want you, just for a second, to forget about them completely. Look at yourself and yourself only: do YOU know that it’s true and that Christ lives? If not, then you need to fix that. Spend some quality time talking to God and studying his words. Don’t just read them, you sure as heck had better study them because you read a lot of things that don’t benefit you all that much, but those scriptures are worth knowing inside and out. 

And you know what else you need to do? Learn how to repent. You need to learn how to evaluate your life and realize what you have done wrong, even if it’s just small things, and then repent from them. Because you know how to repent and have developed a relationship with God through the small things, then it just makes it so much easier to handle the big things when they come.

Here’s the deal: Date lots of boys in high school! Seriously, so fun. You don’t need a boyfriend, but if it does happen, then just be careful. In all relationships, be open and communicate. You will find that you have a hard time telling a boy how you feel, but if he tells you how he feels, then you owe it to him to talk about your feelings. This makes life so much easier! Once you get into college, if a boy likes you and you are in anyway interested, give the poor chap a chance. Don’t hold out for something better. Maybe he is your something better and you just don’t know it yet. Don’t get scared that you’ll miss out on opportunities with other guys because you’re exclusive with this one. Maybe this boy will turn into eternity, but even if he doesn’t, I promise you that there will always be many more opportunities with other guys that come along. Just because you miss one, doesn’t mean that was the only one you will ever have. Don’t think too much, just dive in headfirst and give every potential relationship a decent shot. Also, don’t be terrified about breaking hearts, that’s just what happens in dating and sometimes it is unavoidable. And don’t worry about your own heart getting broken. It’s going to happen, and it’s going to suck, but I promise you will get over it and you will learn so much!
You have good friends. And you will make even more good friends in the future. Don’t get hung up with hanging out with just one person, broaden your horizons and make friends with a lot of people. Don’t rely solely on one person for your sense of self worth and your social interaction. You can be your own person and make your own friends because you are great! You’re friends are some of the best and they are so fun. But please make sure that you’re bringing others in and allowing them to have just as much fun as you are. Everyone deserves friends and everyone deserves to have fun in their life; you can be the person that helps them to get there and be happy. It’s fun to have exclusive parties with just your closest friends every once in a while, but don’t do that all the time.

I could tell you so much and help make life so much easier, but in all reality, the struggles and triumphs and low times and high times I’ve had over the last years have made me a stronger, more independent, caring person and I don’t want to take that away from you. Just know this: life is amazing and we all know you’re going to love high school more than anything, until you get to college. Live your life, love your live, and keep Christ in your life and you can do anything.