Here at the end of all things

So once upon a time yesterday, I realized that in one week I will be 100% done with classes for my undergraduate degree. This made me so sad. I complain about school and homework and papers and finals all the time, but you know what? I love it all. I have been so blessed to be able to go to college and further my education and expand my horizons. I love learning and seeing new perspectives on all sorts of situations and contexts. I'm not necessarily a pro at being a student, but I'm very comfortable with it. Here at the end of all things, I realize how much I took for granted in my education. There are so many things that I was taught, but I never learned. There were so many people that could teach me so much, but I didn't appreciate their stories or their knowledge. Now that I'm more mature (don't laugh at that), I wish I could go back and do school all over again and learn all the things!
But here it is... I only have two days of class left, and I really just don't know how to feel about that. You know that feeling when you were in the middle of a sentence but then get cut off and distracted and you feel like something is unfinished, and you feel that way until you finally finish your thought? That's kind of how I feel about my education. I feel like I'm stopping before it's really done. I have so much left to learn and so many people still to meet and learn from.
Now I realize that finishing school is not the end of my learning, but do you realize how much harder it is to learn when I don't have deadlines and scheduled times for people to stand up in front of me and share their knowledge? This kind of life long learning requires motivation and dedication and out-of-my-way effort. Completely worth it, but still exhausting.
So there it is. This time next week I will have taken my last final. I will have gone to my last review and sat in my last two hour lecture. I don't mean to be nostalgic, but if you haven't figured out already, I'm the most nostalgic person I know. I remember my first day of class freshman year.. Strangely enough it was Intro to Sociology, which is funny because that was 2 years before I EVER decided to declare sociology as my major. Funny how things work out like that. Sociology has shaped my personal theology and the way in which I approach the world. I think about that first day of college and I see how much I've grown and changed, and I realize that while I may not have taken advantage of every opportunity here at school, I most definitely have learned more than I ever thought was possible. How is it that the more I learn, the more I realize I still have left to learn?

Now this is growing up

So it's been a full month since my last blog post... why has it been a full month, might you ask? Because I haven't even had time to sleep let alone blog in the last month!!

My life has been crazy. Finishing final projects and papers and interviews for my last full semester of my undergrad, then studying for and taking finals, then graduating  then packing up our entire apartment and moving into an adorable little house, then diving straight into my internship, and then starting spring semester classes. Yeah, it's been busy. And it doesn't look like it's going to slow down anytime soon.

So who has two thumbs and walked at her college graduation last week? This girl.
I'm thrilled!

Your classic High School Musical jumping picture, but this is way better because it's College Musical.

I love them. We will never be hip.

Since I obviously struggle taking "normal" pictures, and I have surrounded myself with people who are just as ridiculous as myself, my mom made me promise that I would take a "good picture" for her... whatever that means. I held it for about 5 seconds. Yes, I'm a child.

There is sunshine in my soul today.

The sun is shining!
The tank is clean!
Ahhh, the tank is clean!

Oh but seriously, it is freaking gorgeous today and has been all week! I was outside in a t-shirt and flip-flops. Best news I've had in ages. Don't get me wrong, I love winter. I love snow and the cold and the winter clothing and the like. But there's something wonderful about when the sun comes out for the first time in the spring! Oh how I just adore being able to sit and enjoy the beauty of the world.
Campus is so funny to me when it starts getting warm. There are people everywhere and they are super loud and they are just fascinating. It is 55 degrees outside and there are people wearing shorts and t-shirts. Welcome to Utah, where anything above 50º is considered summer weather. And it really is! After the weeks of below 0º that we had back in January, this week is the most joyous thing I've ever been a part of!
Yesterday was so wonderful that I may have taken the day off from school and just hung out in the sun at a park. I possibly even hunted (unsuccessfully) for sasquatch. And climbed a huge tree. And took a nap in the sun and half of my face got sunburnt. It was great!

Oh and happy Pi Day!! That also made my day on campus entertaining, there were Pi Day activities all over the place. Don't you just love having a celebration about a mathematical constant? I know I do.

It begins again.

The summer has come to an end. A terrible, tragic end. I have a feeling that this next year is going to be a relatively defining one for me. You know, with the whole "graduating from college and finding something to do with my life" thing. It's kind of terrifying.

This summer has been one of the best in the history of summers (which is a pretty long history, in case you were wondering). We created a list back in the first of May of all the things we wanted to do this summer. I must say that I am please to announce that we did EVERYTHING on this list, minus white water rafting, which I was fine with because that slightly frightens me. We took a road trip to California (one of the highlights of my summer), saw all of the awesome movies that came out this summer, ate lots of delicious food, made some incredible friends, went on lots of adventures, took pictures of most everything, and just laughed our heads off because we are that funny. We really had so much fun! I really do have the greatest friends in the universe.
As just an example of the excitement that is our lives: the other weekend, we watched 7.5 hours of Anne of Green Gables in one night. I can't explain to you the love that I have for Gilbert Blythe.

Anyway, so now it's over. On the plus side, everyone has returned to Provo, including pretty much all of my friends who went on missions. Can you believe it's been two years? I can't. I am THRILLED beyond reason to be able to hang out with those wonderful human beings again. They were greatly missed.

Ok, here's the real reason this year scares me: I am a senior. A senior in college. Remember back in the day, a full 4 years ago when I was a senior in high school? That does not feel like it was that long ago, but alas, it was. WHat am I going to do after I graduate? I have many potential plans, but they all require me to be an adult and move on with my life. Change, especially big change like this, scares me so much. Once I get going, I love it, but the anticipation of change scares me to death. Welp, we'll see what happens in this next year. It will be fun, that's a given because I always have fun. It will be difficult. It will be scary. But I'm excited for it. Life is fun... I just have to keep telling myself that.

The time has come.

There is a time in everyone's life when she just has to throw on some sweats and a tie-dye t-shirt, throw her untamable hair on top of her head, listen to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, find a cozy corner of the library, and buckle down and write her term paper.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is that day.

Real Learning.

"Students do not learn much just sitting in classes listening to teachers, memorizing prepackaged assignments, and spitting out answers.  Learning is not a spectator sport.  Students must talk about what they are learning, write about it, relate it to past experiences, and apply it to their daily lives.  They must make what they learn part of themselves."  (Chickering and Gamson, Seven Principles for Good Practice in Undergraduate Education)

The truth of this quote is irrevocable.

Learning is an action word.

And honestly, it's hard to learn correctly. Sitting passively and memorizing facts only to forget them as soon as the test is over is easy. Real learning, the kind where the student must take it upon themselves to learn and apply said learning and retain it forever. This type of learning is hard. It takes a lot of time. It takes patience and work and interest and focus.
Sadly, I can't say I've always tried to really learn in some of my classes. There are times when I want to take the easy way out and just memorize facts and pass tests. I have been in some very difficult classes where the teacher recognized what real learning is and made assignments that catered to it... and I have complained because they were too hard. But in the end, those are the classes that I appreciate and remember the most. And learned the most from.
When I am forced to discuss my learning and look at it in the context of my life and other situations in the world, then I can see it as something real. Something important. Something worth knowing.
The purpose of going to school and getting an education is to be knowledgable and know things for the rest of my life. Disappointingly, a lot of people view school and learning as just something that they need to get through and finish as soon as possible so as to graduate and move on to their career or the next part of their life. They don't take the time to sit back and appreciate the opportunity that they have to be learning. Not many people in this world have that same opportunity. Learning is a blessing, not a pointless task. Learning is an action and it is something that should certainly not just stop at graduation. Learning is a lifelong and applicable to all situations.

I love learning. I love gaining the ability to speak intelligibly on many topics. I love expanding my horizons and developing new ways of viewing the world and other peoples. I love taking the opportunity to incorporate my learning into who I am.

I need to remember this. Learning is not a spectator sport.

The joys of reading days.

Hello world. I'm alive. Mostly.

Yesterday was the last day of classes for the semester. Celebration.

Today was one of the reading days; those blessed days when you're supposed to have nothing to do except sit and study your head off for finals. Finals start on Saturday.

Here's how today was supposed to go: go to work, be productive, work on some take home finals, do a decent amount of studying, go to a ward party, and then chill for the rest of the night.

This was a great plan. It wasn't overly busy, just the right amount of school work. Sadly, this is not how today actually went.

Let me just give you a little look at what I did today:

Worked all morning. Success. This is the only thing that went as planned. 

At noon I settled onto a computer to start my paper, but then got a craving for Chinese food.

I proceeded to drag my roommate to Rice King to watch me eat said chinese food. She had already eaten, so she sat there studying Spanish while I ate. It was delicious. Definitely satisfied that craving.

By now it was 2:30 in the afternoon and I was back in my apartment, ready for action. Then what was supposed to be a 30 minute pre-studying nap turned into an hour and a half sleep-fest. Don't ask how that happened. My day was quickly slipping away from me. I couldn't handle anymore distractions. I REALLY needed to get working on these things.

So naturally from 4 to 6 I sat and watched my roommate cook chicken and I plotted and chatted and did other generally unproductive things.

Needless to say, it is now 11 at night and I have no idea where my day went or how I possibly came up with so many ridiculous ways to procrastinate my studying. And naturally I am writing this blog post instead of attempting to get a little bit of headway on my work. 

Such is the life of me, your typical, procrastinating college student. I know I will end up studying my butt off and I'm pretty sure I will do decently well on my finals, but I just like causing myself more stress by procrastinating things until the last minute. Yeah, how fun.

Wish me luck on finals. I'm going to kill them.

Jennie out.

Sociologist.

I am a sociologist. Not sure when, but this just recently happened. True, sociology has been my major for over a year now and I should have felt like a sociologist long ago, but alas, that didn't happened. I would sit in my sociology classes and think to myself: "Wow, this is super interesting. But oh my, these people are a bunch of crazies. They are full of theories about people and opinions about how the world works, and I just am not."
But the time has come, my friends. I am a sociologist now.
I realized while in my Human Development class (not a sociology class) when I began thinking about development in terms of how the children are being socialized and how their SES (socioeconomic status) is effecting their socialization. I even started thinking about dating relationships in terms of social exchange theory, which is an outrage.
Nerd. That is what I said to myself.
And you know what, I am okay with that. I like being a sociologist. It gives me a unique perspective of people and life in general.
I'm a fan.

Battle Week.

So I may or may not be in the midst of an epic battle. Yeah, you heard me, epic battle. I'm cool.

You may ask: with whom is this battle? Well, I shall tell you. Otherwise, this blog post would be completely pointless, unless I really just wanted to taunt everyone with mentioning the battle and then not elaborating. This would keep the world in such suspense, hanging on my every word. Actually, that's kind of a brilliant idea. But alas, I can't hold my tongue, because I really do have something to say today.

Epic battle.
In one corner there is me; a college student trying to find the balance between school and the fun I crave at all times. In the other corner we have this vile thing called finals. Don't worry about it, he's just lurking surreptitiously in the corners, ready to pounce at any moment. He truly is a terrible thing. My opponents mere existence causes spontaneous and terribly timed mental breakdowns. He also just enjoys putting the general college populous through pain. Quite the conniving little sucker.

I have taken 2 finals thus far this week. One yesterday (don't worry, I only spent FOUR HOURS on it) and I just finished one. And then there's another tonight.
I am not a fan of evening finals because you go in knowing it's going to be dark when you come out and it's just a horribly sinking feeling. Plus, it's right during dinner. Rude.
Anyway, so tomorrow's goal is to turn in one take home final, trek to the testing center to take my last multiple choice final, and then start and hopefully finish another take home final. Then I will be done! Done with finals by Wednesday. Will this actually happen? Let us hope so.
6 tests in 3 days? I'm a fan. I think that would definitely mean I had defeated, even pummeled, my unworthy opponent.
Secret to my success? Wearing my Ron Weasley t-shirt to every final for the last 3 semesters. Win.
Picture proof? Done.

I'm pretty sure that everyone around me in the library appreciated me taking this pic.

End of semester things.

Apparently I don't believe in sleep. Especially not this last week of school.

What with projects and papers due this past week and finals coming up next week, sleep just doesn't happen. I really just don't have time in my life to sleep. Or eat, most of the time. Eating and sleeping. It's really terrible, because I feel like those are two essentials for life. However, when the end of the semester comes, I do away with them. I propose that school is not more important than my life necessities... but try telling my professors that.
Monday may or may not have consisted of me staying at the library writing a paper until 1:30 in the AM (I'm leaning towards may). Tuesday was me staying up until 2, writing the same paper. Wednesday was the turning in of a semester long creativity project and a paper. Then staying up until 5 in the morning, yeah... you heard me: 5 am. Thursday was me turning in 15-page research paper, group presentation, and turning in another paper. It was great news.
On a positive note: My group presentation went surprisingly well. We talked about adolescents and gangs, and had an ex-gangbanger come be our guest speaker. A+ if I do say so myself.
Another positive: I was so incredibly blessed this past week. I haven't felt tired one bit. Seriously, when one gets 2 hours of sleep in a night, you expect her to be exhausted the next day. However I have been so blessed as to not feel tired even a once during work and class and reviews.
Another positive: at the finish of this very long week of final projects, we had a Chinese Murder Mystery date. Details are forthcoming. Don't even worry.


So I've come to the conclusion that teachers think it's hilarious to assign semester long projects that are due the last week of class (aka 1-2 weeks after Thanksgiving). They do not actually intend for you to work on these projects all semester. They just want to make you have a mental break-down the last two weeks. They assign these projects in the syllabus and briefly mention them the first day of class and then don't talk about them again for months until 3 weeks before they are due.

The student thought processes on semester long projects:
September: "Do we have something due at the end of the semester? Eh, that's months away. No need to worry about it now."
October: "Our teacher mentioned something about a project in class today... maybe I should figure out what that is.... Nah! That's not until after Thanksgiving, that's not for two months!"
Early November: "I finally read the assignment description for that project, it seems like a lot of work. I should start that or something."
Mid-November: "I really will start that project over Thanksgiving break! I have so much free time that weekend! I'm totally going to get it all done!"
Thanksgiving Break: "Nom nom nom nom!!!!"
Monday after Thanksgiving: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That project is due in one week!!!!!!! I'm going to freaking die!!!! Oh no! And the project for this other class is due. And the one for this other class!"

Professors who assign semester long projects just think it's wonderful to give you a false sense of security and then BAM make you realize that you fail at time management. And their class. These professors know well enough how college students work, I mean I'm sure at some point in their lives they were college students too. They know how procrastinating works and they know it is inevitable. Yet they continue to assign them and I continue to get no sleep for a week straight while I do a semesters worth of work in that one week.
I don't see the humor. Maybe I will once I get some sleep.

Harold.

So I hang out with Harold every night. Literally. Every night last week. In fact, I'm with Harold right this second. You would think that our relationship would be getting stronger, but alas, it is the exact opposite. The more time I spend here, the more I decide that Harold and I have a love-hate relationship. Emphasis on the hate. You could say I spend an unhealthy amount of time with him.

Harold tries to offer me everything I could ever need. Yes, he does have an exorbitant amount of knowledge to share. And yes, he does occasionally allow for some hilarious memories. But overall, my time spent with Harold is anything but enjoyable. In fact, it might even be called painful. He forces me to do homework more than the normal person should. He makes me sit in uncomfortable wooden chairs. I've been told he plays music late at night, but he's never played it for me.

I definitely would love to tell Harold that I never want to see him again, but it's just one of those relationships that I am forced to continue. Sadly.

Harold, you see, has many names. He is also known as the HBLL. Or, for you non-BYUers, the Harold B. Lee Library.

We have a rocky relationship.

Sometimes I forget.

Sometimes I forget how much I love college.

Sometimes crazy things happen. Mostly because I'm crazy and I have crazy friends.

Sometimes we randomly go to 80's dances in Salt Lake, even though I have work at 8 the next morning.

Sometimes (or every night) we have roommate dinners that end up lasting for hours filled with laughter.

Sometimes we break into random song/dance in our apartment.

Sometimes Kui and I lay in bed to go to sleep at night and then end up talking for hours about life and everything.

Sometimes I see my brother on campus and we take a stroll around the library.

Sometimes we have game nights and die of laughter.

Sometimes we go to Spoon It Up and J-Dawgs way more than is healthy or financially feasible.

Sometimes I end up watching hulu instead of studying (ok, this is like everyday..).

Sometimes we do outrageously spontaneous things.

Sometimes I laugh so hard my abs start hurting.

Life is fabulous here. Until classes actually start... then I have a bit of a problem. That's when I remember why I was dreading returning to college. But alas, I endure the torture of homework and reading way more pages then I actually understand. All of the ridiculous, hilarious things make life beautiful, no matter how much work I have to do.